The struggles of National Republican Senate Committee Chairman John Ensign, as chronicled by SenateGuru.com, continue to be a source of joy. Even GOP senators aren't contributing! Imagine how difficult it must be to get money out of the regular Republicans. Here's a partial list from a mole in the NRSC office.

10 most common excuses offered by Republican donors when contacted by the NRSC:

1. "Already gave the money to Christopher Ward."

2. "Don't have any bills smaller than the maximum individual contribution."

3. "Gave at the Star Chamber."

4. "Sorry, I've only got Euros."

5. "Would like to contribute, but cannot, having relocated my home office to the Cayman Islands."

6. "Kickbacks are customarily given after the award of a no-bid contract."

7. "Sorry, lawyering-up. You know how it is."

8. "Maximum contribution?!! Uhhh, is the NSA sharing their wiretaps with you?"

9. "Will have more liquidity as soon as oil prices begin to drop."

10. "Couldn't we just start another war instead?"

In a way, I think of posting these potential excuses as a service to those who might get a call from the NRSC. Feel free to add your excuses to the list.